<elearning21@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wroteth:
> I would like to parsnip with all the homeskools by offering an
> innovative eLearning platform shoes where you can done be learned and
> teacheded >anytime and anywhere.
You must be a member of misc.education.home-school.christian to do so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPLICATION TO JOIN misc.education.home-school.christian
Amended 2006
*Mandatory for all Newbies
Personal Information
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Troll Namer
[_] Crusader
[_] Infidel Slayer
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fan
[_] Paranoid Sociopath (with gun fetish)
[_] Creationist
First Name: ___________________________
Last Name: __________________________
Estimated age: ____
How many dozen kids do you homeskool?: ____
Do you own a kitchen table to homeskool at? ___
Can you read and rite (sort of)? ______________
1. Who can vouch that you really are a Trew Homeskoola?
[_] Trailer park manager
[_] Parole Officer
[_] Local drug dealer
[_] Gun store owner
[_] Trew Kristyun Pasta
[_] Fellow Trew Homeskoola
[_] Napoleon
[_] My Mom
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
2. How did you find out about misc.education.home-school.christian?
[_] I'm perfick and I know everything coz I'm a Trew Homeskoola
[_] The Homeskool Fairy told me about it
[_] None of your business, troll!
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
3. Are you able to shout "Troll!" with every post you send?
[_] Yes
[_] No
[_] Carnt spel trol as i em homeskooled
4. If you are a Trew Homeskool how was your homeskool acquired?:
[_] Cracker Jack / Cereal Box
[_] Extortion
[_] Made it myself from human waste
[_] Found it on the kitchen table
[_] Fell off the back of a truck
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
[_] Answers in Genesis
5. What made you decide on joining misc.education.home-school.christian?
(Check all that apply):
[_] Ratbaggery
[_] Chance to flame professional educators
[_] Didn't take my medication
[_] I was drunk at the time
[_] I am a member of the Fundamentalist Dark Age
[_] Dunno
[_] Meaningless whim
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fetish
[_] I like to gossip
[_] I like to repeat "Troll!" ad nauseum
[_] I heard a command to join even though I was wearing my Tin Foil Beanie
[_] I like playing with me kids ... and dead things ... and poking 'em
with
a stick
6. Please check the subjects you are willing/capable to homeskool in
[_] Illegal drug industry
[_] Hanging by the neck
[_] Gang member/leader
[_] Burning crosses / churches and homes
[_] Phone scamming
[_] Stoning with real stones
[_] E-Mail scamming
[_] Crucifixion
[_] Home invasion ring member/leader
[_] Auto theft
[_] Welfare scamming
[_] Terrorism
[_] Convenience store clerk
[_] Tar and feathering
[_] Homeskool
[_] Playing with guns (Kindergaten to beginning of High School only)
[_] Creationism as science
[_] Phrenology, blood letting, astrology, tarot card reading, etc etc etc
as
science
7. How would you describe yourself and your beliefs? (Check all that
apply):
[_] Religious fanatic
[_] Funnymentalist
[_] Universal Hatemonger
[_] Anti-educator
[_] Trew Homeskoola
[_] UFOlogist
[_] Paranoid Psychotic with gun fetish
[_] Creationist ratbag
8. What activities do you enjoy participating in on a regular basis?:
[_] Recreational drug use
[_] Religious persecutions
[_] Rape/murder/mayhem
[_] Crucifixion and stoning
[_] Occassional tar and feathering
[_] Intimidation
[_] Singing Ren & Stimpy's "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song
Thank you for taking the time to fill out your Application to join
misc.education.home-school.christian.
Please enjoy the little that your new newsgroup has to offer and don't
hesitate to call people Trolls if they have a different opinion to
yourself.
Remember, you don't have to change - you're a Trew Homeskooler!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I heartily endorse this event or product." - Krusty The Klown
Food Products
a.. The Krusty Burger
b.. Krusty Brand ****k Products (of course)
c.. Krusty Brand Cereal (now comes with a FREE, jagged metal Krusty-O in
every box!)
d.. Krusty Brand Cereal (FREE Flesh Eating Bacteria inside EVERY BOX!)
e.. Chocolate Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes (only sugar has more sugar)
f.. Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (7 out of 10 orphans can't tell the
difference!)
g.. Krusty's Famouse Sauce (Yum it's Blue!)
h.. Krusty Brand Lo-Cal TV Dinner
Places
a.. Camp Krusty
b.. Mount Splashmore
c.. Krusty Land
d.. Krusty's Clown College
Personal Products
a.. Krusty's Non-Narcotic Kough Syrup (the secret ingredient in the
Flaming Moe)
b.. Lady Krusty mustache removal system
c.. Krusty (non toxic) Kologne: the Smell of the Big Top
d.. Krusty Brain & Health Tonic (Ken Griffey Jr. took it...)
e.. Krusty Brand Vitamins (gave Bart an irregular heartbeat)
f.. Krusty Brand Home Pregnancy Test (warning: may cause birth defects!)
Miscellaneous Stuff
a.. Krusty the Doll
b.. The Krusty the Clown Alarm Clock (careful, that gets awfully hot,
Krusty)
c.. The Krusty Crowd Control Barrier ("Krusty sez 'Get Back!'")
d.. The Krusty Monopoly Game (patent denied)
e.. The Canyonero (Unsafe for City and Highway driving)
f.. The Krusty Calculator (with no number 7 or 8)
Other
a.. The Little Miss Springfield Pageant
b.. Krusty's Autobiography (self-serving, with many glaring omissions)
http://www.silverbox.com/krusty/
--
"We're Christians! We're not supposed to think!" Fanny Wype (****ist Colony
Of The Dead)
"All things are probable. Try to believe." - Mark 17:1
"Really! Try to believe even if it's bloody stupid and irrational." -
Mark
17:2
"Why? Because I said so, that's why! Don't ask questions. Just
believe." - Mark 17:3
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