Mickey Mouth Mowwith aka "Michael S. Morris" from Butler Uni
<msmorris@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> the homeskoolas here...
....
> ugly and ultimately totalitarian
Yep. Homeskoolas ARE ugly and totalitarian.
It would be nice if one of these years, Mickey Mouth Mowwith, you could
cite
even a single shred of evidence that ALL homeskoolas do a better job of
teaching children than professional educators.
The central thing you really *have* contributed to this group is as a fall
for all the jokes about homeskoolas.
How are your snotty nosed brats going?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Must Be Homeskooled If...
a.. You sometimes go to school in your pajamas.
a.. You sleep till 9:00 am on school days, but get up early on Sundays.
a.. You own the entire series of Saxon Math books.
a.. Your birthday is an official school holiday.
a.. Your favorite activity is shooting things.
a.. Your skoolroom looks like a kitchen table.
a.. You can get science credit for being a creationist and reding your
bible.
a.. You have ever attempted to teach yourself fonix.
a.. Your home library is a bible.
a.. Your only place to study is your kitchen table.
a.. It takes you less than a minute to walk to school.
You Must Be a Homeskoola If...
a.. You teech at your kitchen table.
a.. Your walls are covered with Jesus posters.
a.. You know what fonix are.
a.. You praise Jesus everytime you child spells his name correctly.
a.. Your homeskooled kid can name all the books of the bible, but doesn't
know what evolution is.
a.. You'd rather buy bibles than real books.
a.. You turn a trip to church into a learning experience.
a.. You are sick and tired of answering the question, "But what about
socialization?" because you cannot adequately answer it other than to
vomit
irrational homeskool dogma.
a.. Talking out loud to yourself is having a parent/teecher homeskool
conference.
a.. You can never find your kitchen utensils because they're under the
kids'
homeskool krap.
a.. The UPS driver delivers a box of crappy A Beka and Creation Science
books to your doorstep once a month.
a.. You know the names of all the decendents of Adam to Jesus from A to Z.
a.. You don't get fired for teaching your homeskooled kids crap
a.. The more your kids learn, the less you seem to know.
Why HomeSkoolun Is "Better" Than Education
a.. Most parents are not smart enough to get a teaching degree but they
can
homeskool their own children.
a.. Children who receive homeskoolun will learn more about cooking since
they are homeskooled at the kitchen table.
a.. How can children learn about creationism as science at proper school
when educators think creationism is a pseudo-science and refuse to teach
it
as science?
a.. Ridicule of educators is im****tant in the homeskool the
anti-socialization process.
a.. Children in homeskools can get more practice "Just Saying No" to
science
and education.
a.. Learning at a kitchen table may have significant brainwa****ng
benefits.
a.. Homeskools foster cultural illiteracy, passing on im****tant traditions
like the singing of "Jesus Jingles" and Trew Kristyun choruses.
a.. Homeskooled children may learn im****tant skills, like how to sit still
for hours straight watching Christian videos and attending church
services.
Top 10 Things ALWAYS to say when asked "What?! No homeskool today?"
10. Well sometimes yes, but most of year I need help with the planting and
plowing and feeding the pigs and shooting things.
9. Of course not!!! I never graduated from school, and I don't want my
kids
to either!
8. Yes there is. We're just out to pick up a bag of ****k rinds and some
Mountain Dew for the kids' nutrition classes then we gotta hurry home to
catch our soaps. That's the kid's *** ejakayshun!
7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you
kids to stay under the stairwell in that box I put you! I'm sorry. This
happens all the time. (sigh)
6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have missed the kids at our
kitchen table, don't you? Must have been too drunk to notice!
5. We're putting on a travelling show demonstrating our ignorance and
implied superiority. Can you spare a dime?
4. On our planet we have different methods of ejakayshun. (Shhh! No, I
didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)
3. Oh my goodness! Today is maket day ...come on kids, hurry! Gotta sell
you
to that nice white slacve trader. ..... Slavery is condoned in the bible,
you know.
2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home on day a month. Werks
reel
good!
And the number one answer you should ALWAYS give to the question: "What?
No
homeskool today?"
1. No, the kids are learnun Maths by filling in a Lotto form with their
unemployed father.
A Homeskool Mom's 6 Resolutions
1. I resolve to make my children "perfect" homeskooled Trew Kristyuns
2. I resolve to prove that I am a "perfect" homeskoola better than any
professional educator.
4. I resolve to give up on expecting an education for my kids because
homeskoolun is better than an education.
6. I resolve to give up on my kids and plonk them infront of the A Beka
books permanently.
Oops ... can't count coz I was homeskooled and my hand only has 4 fingers
.... er ... 7 ... er wait a minute ...... 5!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TREW HOMESKOOL SUPLICE
Get you Skool Suplice from Miss Poppy at "Downwind From The Homeskool"
Includes:
- Sister De Sade's Ten Commandments Ruler
- Bible Pencil Sharpener
- Jesus Walking On The Water Floaty Pen
A Trew Homeskool building can also be viewed at the top of the page.
http://www.jesus21.com/htdocs/hatemail.php
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