"f" <multimediathesis@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> Dear Teaching Colleague,
>
> Please help us with a research project into the use of Computers in the
> classroom.
misc.education.home-school.christian doesn't like professional educators.
They are Trew Homeskoolas!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPLICATION TO JOIN misc.education.home-school.christian
Amended 2006
*Mandatory for all Newbies
Personal Information
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Troll Namer
[_] Crusader
[_] Infidel Slayer
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fan
[_] Paranoid Sociopath (with gun fetish)
[_] Creationist
First Name: ___________________________
Last Name: __________________________
Estimated age: ____
How many dozen kids do you homeskool?: ____
Do you own a kitchen table to homeskool at? ___
Can you read and rite (sort of)? ______________
1. Who can vouch that you really are a Trew Homeskoola?
[_] Trailer park manager
[_] Parole Officer
[_] Local drug dealer
[_] Gun store owner
[_] Trew Kristyun Pasta
[_] Fellow Trew Homeskoola
[_] Napoleon
[_] My Mom
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
2. How did you find out about misc.education.home-school.christian?
[_] I'm perfick and I know everything coz I'm a Trew Homeskoola
[_] The Homeskool Fairy told me about it
[_] None of your business, troll!
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
3. Are you able to shout "Troll!" with every post you send?
[_] Yes
[_] No
[_] Carnt spel trol as i em homeskooled
4. If you are a Trew Homeskool how was your homeskool acquired?:
[_] Cracker Jack / Cereal Box
[_] Extortion
[_] Made it myself from human waste
[_] Found it on the kitchen table
[_] Fell off the back of a truck
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
[_] Answers in Genesis
5. What made you decide on joining misc.education.home-school.christian?
(Check all that apply):
[_] Ratbaggery
[_] Chance to flame professional educators
[_] Didn't take my medication
[_] I was drunk at the time
[_] I am a member of the Fundamentalist Dark Age
[_] Dunno
[_] Meaningless whim
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fetish
[_] I like to gossip
[_] I like to repeat "Troll!" ad nauseum
[_] I heard a command to join even though I was wearing my Tin Foil Beanie
[_] I like playing with me kids ... and dead things ... and poking 'em
with
a stick
6. Please check the subjects you are willing/capable to homeskool in
[_] Illegal drug industry
[_] Hanging by the neck
[_] Gang member/leader
[_] Burning crosses / churches and homes
[_] Phone scamming
[_] Stoning with real stones
[_] E-Mail scamming
[_] Crucifixion
[_] Home invasion ring member/leader
[_] Auto theft
[_] Welfare scamming
[_] Terrorism
[_] Convenience store clerk
[_] Tar and feathering
[_] Homeskool
[_] Playing with guns (Kindergaten to beginning of High School only)
[_] Creationism as science
[_] Phrenology, blood letting, astrology, tarot card reading, etc etc etc
as
science
7. How would you describe yourself and your beliefs? (Check all that
apply):
[_] Religious fanatic
[_] Funnymentalist
[_] Universal Hatemonger
[_] Anti-educator
[_] Trew Homeskoola
[_] UFOlogist
[_] Paranoid Psychotic with gun fetish
[_] Creationist ratbag
8. What activities do you enjoy participating in on a regular basis?:
[_] Recreational drug use
[_] Religious persecutions
[_] Rape/murder/mayhem
[_] Crucifixion and stoning
[_] Occassional tar and feathering
[_] Intimidation
[_] Singing Ren & Stimpy's "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song
Thank you for taking the time to fill out your Application to join
misc.education.home-school.christian.
Please enjoy the little that your new newsgroup has to offer and don't
hesitate to call people Trolls if they have a different opinion to
yourself.
Remember, you don't have to change - you're a Trew Homeskooler!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOME SCHOOL misc.education.home-school.christian FAQ
If you are a Newbie on misc.education.home-school.christian and have any
intelligence or a different opinion to the people there ...or WORSE STILL
.... you are an actual PROFESSIONAL TEACHER!!(HORROR!!!) ...then the
following will be your treatment:
1 - Repeated ad hominem attacks ...called "troll" etc
2 - Character assassination .....you are always wrong ...they are always
correct ...no discussion on this matter as it is the 11th Commandment of
Home Skooling
3 - Irrational inquisition / witch hunt followed by crucifixion / stoning
/
burning at the stake .........they like that "Old Time Religion"!!!
4 - Thinking and critical reflection are capital offences ...some are not
capable of doing one or the other ....some are not capable of doing
either!!!
5 - Don't ask questions ... if you ask questions then you looking for
information to discredit home skooling ...and trying to FORCE them ... to
THINK!!! ...it's being worldly!!! ...you can't be a "Trew Kristyun"!!!!
...
this is a conspiracy ... not that they are paranoid ...much ...and anyway
the medication keeps them sane ... most of the time ... perhaps ... maybe
.... oh
well ... just talk about the fun playing with kids .. and acting like kids
.....and how wonderful home skoooling is ... go away ... trouble maker
....oh
..... by the way ... welcome to misc.education.home-school.christian ...we
are
a friendly bunch ... believe it ...OR ELSE!!!!
FAQ answered by the NG members:
* Will I find anything of worth regarding education on this NG that I
don't
already know because I attended school once ...a long time ago?
No ... not really ...what's education???? ...we only home skool ..."we
don't
need no education, we don't need no thought control ...teacher, leave us
kids alone"... go away ... I'm playing with my kids!!!
* Will I have an intelligent logical rational conversation with any person
on this NG?
Maybe ... but only a very few seem capable of doing so ... you can count
them on one hand ... which is good for home skool maths! ... now bugger
off
..... I'm playing with my kids!
* Is this NG plagued by Trew Kristyuns?
No ... "Trew Kristyuns" are not a plague ... just a very horrible disease
.... let us show you how much we luv you ...really ... we just have to
collect the wood for the fire ... and the petrol for the fuel ... and the
rope to .... oh well ... you don't need to know about that right now
....bugger off ....I'm playing with my kids!
* Is his group friendly?
Yes, to our own kind ...unfortunately you are the Other .... an outsider
...
because of this you will be treated to our friendly "Trew Kristyun luv"
(complete with pithy proof text from the bible) ... this is because you
are
inferior and the lowest of the low ... only home skoolers are able to
access
the wisdom of God .... only home skoolers know everything in the universe
about education ... and only home skoolers can get their heads that far up
their arses ...so there!! ...now bugger off! ...go away! ...still got to
do
more playing with my kids ...I mean more 'Trew Homeskoolun Ejakashun"
...... you STILL here? ...... bugger off! ... I'm off to perform more
witchdoctory and diy brain surgery
Surgery isn't something for professionals only. Anyone can do it. It's
just carving up meat.
Us DIY surgeons don't want any government interference with our surgery.
Its our kids we are operating on and we know what's best for the little
buggers. I own my kids so I can experiment on them as I wish. I
especially
like experiments using electricity, bare wires and a power socket.
I went to hospital once so I know everything about DIY brain surgery. I've
also watched a lot of soap operas about hospitals. I've read several DIY
brain surgery books and even attended several DIY brain surgery seminars.
Its very easy to do brain surgery as it comes naturally to everyone.
Everyone is born with the ability to do brain surgery because everyone can
use a knife. I use a knife every day to cut up my own food and my kid's
food. That proves that I'm qualified to do DIY brain surgery.
Scalpel? I don't need a scalpel. I've got a steak knife and its sharp
enough. If it doesn't cut through I can always use the chain saw.
Anaesthetic? That's just fancy professional doctor stuff. You don't need
it. You just hit the kid over the head with your steel reinforced KJV
bible. That knocks 'em out.
If you really know your child well you can just ask where it hurts, open
up
their head, operate and stitch it back up with some cotton and a few
safety
pins. It works just as good as that fancy medical professional stuff.
I don't need to *****s or diagnose whether DIY brainsurgery is needed or
not. I like doing it and the kids turn out a whole lot better after I'm
finished. I just ask Junior "You got a headache, Junior?" or "Are you
thinking again?" and if Junior's head wobbles or Junior's head is a bit
pale
I operate.
What's really neat is that you can use the leftovers for a family
casserole
meal. The kids love it! Great big juicy brain blobs deep fried! Yummy!
Here we go!
Oops!
Made a mistake!
Better take them to a DIY brain surgery hospital.
Oops!
The DIY brain surgery hospital made a mistake!
Better send the kids to a real hospital with professional doctors who know
what they are doing.
Oops!
Too late!
The kids are dead.
Oh well ...
Time to make some more kids so I can continue my career as a DIY surgeon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get you Skool Suplice from Miss Poppy at "Downwind From The Homeskool"
Includes:
- Sister De Sade's Ten Commandments Ruler
- Bible Pencil Sharpener
- Jesus Walking On The Water Floaty Pen
http://www.jesus21.com/htdocs/hatemail.php
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